Christmas is a lonely time for many people.
I was driving home yesterday. There was some delays on the M11 and ended up taking me four hours to get from Swords to Gorey. But in that time my mind began to drift into my past.
I began to think about my Childhood and young Adulthood and all the people who were close to me in my life. My Mam and Dad. My sisters and brothers. My auntie Nell and friends of my family. I had no friends when I was a child or young adult, only my family.
I began to feel the love we once shared. The togetherness and unity, and the bonds that bound us together as a family.
Then the realisation that all that magic was gone. I became uncontrollable upset and began to cry. I’m sitting in my car on the M11 and the traffic around me is going nowhere and all of these feelings flooding my Heart, yet just seemed right at this moment, sad, but right, in a very odd way.
I turned on Luther Vandross, Dance with my father again and immediately was cast back to when I was a boy and my dad would get me to step onto his big manly feet and walk me from bedroom to the bathroom so my feet would not get cold on the floor. He was an amazing man. His love and embrace was more than enough for me to know how loved I was.
I began to recall my mum and her dedication to preparing for Christmas, putting up the Christmas tree and opening the doorway for Santa Claus. She loved Christmas very much. My Mum was my best friend and I miss her so much.
At Christmas time, our house would be filled to capacity with brothers and sisters and their husbands and wives and their children. So many family members all in the loving environment of my parents home.
I began to realise how lonely I had become over the years, despite the fact I am now married to the most beautiful big Hearted, Loving and Wonderful husband and the kindest most caring man I have known since my father. Despite the fact that we are together for many years, I realised I still felt alone and lonely for my parents and my family, and this time of year, seemed to exasperate those feelings of isolation.
I cried all the way home, as memories swelled in my heart, what my young life was like. Filled with such love and connection – and now, the realisation of reality of emptiness and sadness.
My Dad and Mam left this glorious planet in 1998/99 and since then. My siblings have found their own places within their own families. As time has moved on, the void and gap within the existing family unit has become bigger and bigger as does the pain in my heart.
I was a very lucky child. I had loving parents and loving sisters and brothers. I am very blessed and grateful for those foundations in my life. As I grew older into young adulthood. My family was my rock.
I was a lucky boy and young man. So many men, women and children did not have the same love or connection as I had. So many others had difficult childhoods and young adulthoods. And as so, they too can be sad at this time of year for different reasons. Others had really bad experiences at Christmas, that will remain with them forever.
I feel that it’s really important to remember, that there are lots and lots of people, for whatever reasons, do not look forward to this time of year. Some people are alone at Christmas. I mean alone. Isolated. Others don’t have the joy I experienced by having a large family around them.
Many people will be alone this Christmas for the first time, as they may have lost a significant other during the year. Whist other family’s may have lost their parent or parents or a family member.
There are also those who are in hospital and sadly, those who have no homes at all.
It’s a sad and lonely time for much of humanity.
For us personally, we can feel this is a sad, but we also need to realise, it’s a very sad time for others far worst off than we are.
No matter where you fit along the spectrum of life or sadness this year. Spend a moment and feel for those less well off than we are. Send a beam of light from your heart to their Heart and in that Heartfelt intention, we can actually manage to bring some Light to others at this time.
Be your Heart this Christmas.
- David Ellis